Monday, September 8, 2008

Our Adoption Journey: Part 1

Our Beautiful Flower...

I started with the second part of our adoption story because it was so much easier to write about but I also wanted to share the whole story, so here is the first part. We started the adoption process three years ago almost to the date. We had only planned on being adoptive parents and not foster\adopt. So we contacted our local DSHS and started all the paperwork. Because we have lived in Oklahoma for the last 3 years they wanted us to have finger printing background checks done. That held up the process for about 3 months. Our finger prints finally came back and our papers were done in about May of 2006. I didn't think that it would ever get done! One of the social workers came to Phil and said that we might want to get our foster license as well if we are planning to adopt an infant or younger child. If we don't we could be waiting a long time for a baby. When I got the news, I felt very discouraged but started the next load of papers, classes and even more inspections. About two week into the process we were told that we should hurry and get our license because they had a 4 month old baby girl that they wanted to place with us for adoption. I could hardly contain myself! They had a baby for us and I had to wait some more...after all these years of not being able to get pregnant...all these months of papers and inspection...I wanted to hold her! I could hardly sleep or do anything but think about my baby. She was out there waiting for me and us for her and I could not hold her.
The day finally came when I got to meet her. Her name was Florencia...we called her Flora...our beautiful flower!

She was 4 1/2 months old. I loved her instantly! I could not believe that after all the pain and all the waiting for a baby that God answered the cry of my heart and there she was in my arms. We were not able to bring her home for another month but we were able to take care of her in her current foster home. The first time I put her to bed, I rocked her to sleep on my shoulder and I could feel her soft breath on my cheek... I will never forget that feeling of deep, deep love and satisfaction that filled my heart and soul. All the pain of waiting was washed away in that moment. God is so good!
On August 16th 2006 we were able to bring her home. I had never been so happy. Phil and I loved being her mom and dad and she really seemed to just fit in with our families.
I never worried about the adoption not going through. I always had peace that she was ours to stay.
Right after Flora's first birthday, I woke up with a sick feeling in my spirit. I could not shake it and I kept telling Phil that I was worried about Flora's case. We prayed about it but still felt uneasy. I don't remember how long it was after that but we got the call we never wanted to get. She would be leaving us in April. I think I prayed and begged God everyday, several time a day, not to take our baby away from us. I knew that God could stop this from happening. We still had one month until her new family came for her. God could stop this from happening!? With the date getting closer and closer, We still had hope...
On April 5th 2007 Our little girl left us. The day before she left we had our pastor come and dedicate her to the Lord. She would always be our little girl, even if she was not living with us. It was so hard saying goodbye and not being able to tell her why we were not going to be there for her. She was only 13 months old and we had no way of letting her know that we were not giving her away and that we still wanted her. It was one of the hardest things we have ever had to do. Our little girl was gone.
Phil and I ended up with a little blessing shortly after. We found out 8 days after Flora left that we were going to have a baby. Hannah Grace arrived that December. Five days before Christmas.
Knowing that we were going to have a baby gave us hope when we really felt like we had lost all hope. It did not take the pain away of losing Flora but restored joy into our hearts when we felt we had lost our joy.
Here are some pictures of Flora...

Flora 7 months old.

December 2007

9 months old.

Flora's 1st Birthday.


Angie said...

I have heard some of that story before but not from you. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that tough time.

Thanks for sharing it with us! I will be praying for you and your family and the baby/babies that God has planned for you and Phil.

Heather said...

Shiloh, it is so wonderful to see the strength that God has given you and Phil to do this. I had heard some of the story as well, but that was before Mathew came. I have a hard time with the fact that they can come in and take Mat away too. I know that the prayers that you have prayed over Flora will not be left unanswered.

All of the children that come into your home will be blessed by Gods love through you both.